


Upside Down and Twisted Around

by CaptainDog



Series: Thorough Enjoyment [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Autofellatio, Bitty has a big dick, Bitty is Bendy, Domesticity, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Skype Sex, The Haus, probably implausible sexual situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 21:57:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8302714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainDog/pseuds/CaptainDog
Summary: He's really flexible, and not every part of him is 'itty bitty.'





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd, so feel free to point out mistakes.

Bitty’s mind is on Jack as he pulls a tray of hand pies from the oven. They’re Skyping tonight, as usual, but he knows it’s going to be a short conversation. When you talk every night, you start to run out of current events to share. Their other topics of conversation are off limits in the thin-walled Haus. 

 

“Later, Bits.” 

 

Bitty whips his head around. It’s years of practice in this kind of situation that keeps the tray of pies steady in his hands. He sets it neatly on the stove to turn fully towards Lardo. 

 

“Where are you off to?” 

 

Lardo’s carrying her portfolio and tackle box of art supplies. Her backpack’s on her back, but her makeup and non-paint-splattered combat boots tell a contrasting story. 

 

“Drunken art jam. Florence is gonna be there, so.” She gestures to her perfect eyeliner. “Anyway, I’ll probably make it back in the morning. We’re never done before 3 am.” 

 

Bitty nods. He’s heard about these drunken art jams - and Florence the devastatingly hot butch art/African studies double major - before. 

 

“Well, take a hand pie before you go. Oh, but be careful. They haven’t cooled.” Lardo is about the only person Bitty will allow to touch his baked goods before they’re properly cooled, because she knows not to just shove it in her face first thing. 

 

“Thanks, but I just ate. See ya tomorrow, bro.”

 

Bitty waves and marvels at how Lardo manages to get through the front door looking so graceful with all the stuff she’s carrying. He turns back to his hand pies. He glances at the clock on the  microwave and mentally starts a countdown. The boys of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team (and Lardo) know by now not to invade the kitchen looking for treats right after a pie has been pulled from the oven. They have to sit and cool, or else you get a sloppy and molten mess that Bitty just will not stand for. His pies deserved to be enjoyed properly, thank you very much. The whole Haus is tuned in to sound of the oven timer, the clatter of pans and cooking racks. 

 

Sure enough, Chowder appears ten minutes later. Bitty is sitting at the kitchen table, sipping a coffee and scrolling through Twitter. Chowder only has to point vaguely at the hand pies. 

 

“Go right ahead, hon.” 

 

Chowder gives him a metallic grin. 

 

“I’m headed over to Caitlin’s for the night. Can I take some for her?”

 

“Of course. Just make sure there’s some left for the rest of the Haus.” 

 

Not that there’s much worry there. By now Bitty knows exactly how much he should be making to satisfy the Haus’s bellies. He gets up and puts a few pies on a paper plate for Chowder before covering them with cling wrap. Lord knows the boy would try to carry them all the way to Farmer’s with the pies wrapped in a paper towel. Chowder thanks him brightly and heads out the door. 

 

Ransom doesn’t actually come into the kitchen, he just storms past with a heavy backpack slung over his shoulder. Holster trails in his wake. He sticks his head into the kitchen. Bitty raises an eyebrow in question. 

 

“He’s got an exam tomorrow and an essay due on Friday. Dude, are those hand pies?”

 

Bitty doesn’t even get a chance to answer before Holster shoves the entirety of one in his mouth. 

 

“Mind if I take a few for Rans? He’s gonna need the fuel.”    
  
Again, Bitty can barely answer before Holster’s grabbing them and loading them into a plastic bag. It’s more than he’d usually be allowed to take (the Haus has by-laws about this now, due to the Great Pie Standoff of 2015), but Ransom had looked like he’d needed it. 

 

“We’re probably both gonna be out, like, all night at the library. I’m on flash card and essay grammar checking duty.”   
  


Bitty winces. “Well, good luck. Make sure y’all get at least a little sleep.” 

 

“Will do, Bits,” Holster says, his mouth once again full of crust and apple. He waves on his way out and then jogs to catch up with Ransom. 

 

Which leaves Bitty alone in the Haus. It’s kind of strange at this time of day. In the late afternoon, after everybody is done with classes, the team usually converges for pie and TV and study parties. Bitty puts on some music to finish his coffee to, just because the silence in the Haus feels kind of wrong. As he sips, he thinks about his own plans. Not that he has any specific plans, outside of Skyping with Jack. 

 

Oh. 

 

Empty Haus. 

 

If anybody could see him, they wouldn’t notice much of a change in expression as he stands, puts his empty mug in the sink, and carefully wraps up the rest of the hand pies. He heads upstairs to his bedroom and doesn’t even take the steps two at a time. 

 

He has a little while before his call with Jack. Usually he waits for a text before logging on so he knows Jack is home and free from interruptions. But Bitty can’t think of anything but their call, the fact that they don’t have to worry about being quiet for once. So he idly checks social media, his mind on what they might get up to. He can’t resist sending Jack a text. 

 

_ I have a treat for you tonight ;) _

 

It takes a while for Jack to respond with  _ That kind of call, eh? _

 

Bitty just sends him a winking emoji. 

 

He glances at the clock; he has maybe an hour before Jack is home and ready to Skype. Despite being alone in the Haus, he locks his door (just in case) before he strips down to his underwear. 

 

Bitty takes his stretches seriously. He may no longer be doing early morning Soviet calisthenics, but he keeps himself limber. He spreads out a yoga mat on the floor. He sits cross-legged on it, gets a playlist going on his phone, and starts his stretches. He’s really focusing on flexibility today; he’s going to need it. He’s careful not to strain himself or go too far, because he’s going to need the stamina during his call with Jack. And of course, he also has to make sure he doesn’t accidentally hurt himself. 

 

He closes his eyes, enjoying the little pops in his back, the burn of the stretch in his hamstrings. He hums along to Beyoncé as he tucks himself in halves, in thirds. He bends backwards and forwards and side to side. He’s limber enough that he can fold himself like a pretzel and get his ankles behind his head. He’s pretty proud of this fact. He’s sure the team would be rightly impressed, but he doesn’t really want to share this with them. The chirps would probably hit too close to the mark. 

 

The heavy beat of the song he’s listening to fades out as a text comes in. Jack’s home. 

 

Bitty’s eager, impatient, but he can’t go letting himself jump the gun here. It’s worth waiting for, after all. So he neatly rolls up his yoga mat and makes sure his boxers make it into the hamper after he slides them off. 

 

His laptop is already on his bed, so he just has to open Skype and get himself online. There’s a moment when he’s not sure how to pose, but he decides to lie on his belly before the program starts to chime with Jack’s call. Jack will see clearly that he’s naked, but not much more than that. 

 

“Hi, honey,” he says as soon as the call connects. Jack’s dressed, but in a slightly ratty tee and sweatpants. He’s already grinning. 

 

“Hey, Bits. So what’s this treat you’ve got for me?”

 

“Jack Zimmermann!” Bitty exclaims. “Where are your manners? Not even gonna ask me how my day was?”

 

Jack looks down, appropriately chastened. 

 

“Sorry, uh. How was your day?”

 

Bitty snorts. “I’m just chirpin’ you, sweetheart. But since you asked, I’ll tell you the good news. The Haus is empty.” 

 

Jack brightens up again. “Really? Wow, how’d you manage that?”

 

Bitty shrugs. “The stars just aligned, I guess. But it means we can have a bit more fun today.” 

 

“Yeah?” Jack’s grinning again. 

 

“Yeah. Which is where your treat comes in.”

 

Jack leans forward. Even through the grainy, low-quality Skype video, Bitty can see his eyes darken. “What’s my treat?”

 

Bitty sits up on his elbows. “Hold your horses, darlin’. I need a little help before I get to it. See, I’m not quite...excited enough to give you a good show.” 

 

Jack grins. “So I’m giving  _ you  _ a show first?”

 

“That’s the idea. Not to much, just enough to get my blood pumping.” 

 

That’s all the prompting Jack needs to pull of his t-shirt. He and Bitty lock eyes and he starts to run his hands over his torso and chest. His hands are so big and Bitty thinks about how they feel on his own skin. It hasn’t been that long, but touching and being touched by Jack is a craving Bitty doesn’t think he’ll ever get over. He licks his lips as Jack’s fingers brush through chest hair and circle a nipple. Still watching, Bitty rolls onto his back. 

 

Jack chuckles. “Do I look better upside down?”

 

“Honey, you look good at any angle.” 

 

On his back, it’s easier for Bitty to curl his fingers around his cock and stroke it to hardness. Jack can see what he’s doing, but not clearly. It’s a tease for the main event. 

 

“Get your pants off, Jack.”

 

Jack scrambles to comply. The angle is awkward for a few moments, but Bitty’s patient. Jack pauses, his thighs filling the frame. 

 

“Underwear too?”

 

“Yeah. Don’t want you ruining them.” 

 

Bitty winks. Jack can’t see, but he can hear the tone of Bitty’s voice. He shucks his boxer briefs. He’s not fully hard yet, but it won’t be long, Bitty’s sure.

 

“Go ahead and touch yourself, baby.” 

 

Jack’s fingers curl around his cock. His attention is on Bitty, so he keeps his grip loose and his pace slow. 

 

“Good,” Bitty coos. He’s fully hard now. He lifts his hips up so Jack can see, which gets him a muttered Québécois curse. 

 

“Jesus, Bits. How do you fit that in those little shorts?”

 

Bitty grins. It’s kind of a sexy inside joke between them. The first time he’d gotten undressed in front of Jack without the intention of changing in or out of his hockey gear, Jack had had to sit down and stare in shock and appreciation. 

 

To be fair, Bitty is a grower, not a shower. But  _ oh boy _ does he grow. Technically, Bitty’s not that much bigger than Jack himself, but for his size and build? His cock is startlingly large. 

 

“I think it’s time for your treat. Ready?”

 

Jack nods quickly. His cheeks are pink and his eyes appear to be a much deeper blue, the icy color swallowed up by expanding pupils. Bitty loves it. 

 

The next bit is tricky. Bitty does his best to move smoothly to keep up the fantasy they’re building. 

 

Upside down, he folds himself just like before on the yoga mat. He could do this right-side up, but gravity helps him keep it up for longer. And of course, he wants to put on the best show for Jack that he can. 

 

Jack seems to catch on when Bitty’s knees are next to his ears. 

 

“Oh my god, are you...can you…” 

 

“Uh huh,” Bitty gasps. It’s hard to talk like this, and it’s about to get harder. He’s fully bare; his legs are spread wide, his cock inches from his face, his hole exposed. 

 

Bitty teases, because both he and Jack love it. He hooks his arms around his legs to hold himself in place and grips his cock in one hand. He rubs the tip over the seam of his lips and then darts his tongue out. 

 

He laps at it for a few moments and then licks around the entire head. 

 

“Oh fuck, Bitty.  _ Crisse _ .” 

 

Bitty wants to look, to see Jack’s reaction, but he knows he’ll have to wait and be content with listening to him for now. It’s not too much of a hardship. Jack’s voice is low and just a little hoarse, even cracking a bit as he mutters bilingual curses. Music to Bitty’s ears. 

 

With the encouragement of Jack’s groans and exclamations, Bitty opens his mouth. Jack lets out a long moan as Bitty slowly takes his cock into his mouth. 

 

Realistically, there’s no way he can take the whole length, even if his gag reflex  _ is _ mostly nonexistent. He does manage about half, though. 

 

“Fuck. Fuck, Bitty,” Jack moans. 

 

Bobbing his head is difficult, but Bitty does it a couple of times. He pulls off with a loud slurping sound to look at Jack. 

 

He looks close to wrecked. His darkened eyes are wide and his hand is moving between his legs. 

 

“Let me see, honey. Show me what I’m doing to you.” 

 

Jack doesn't angle the camera down. Instead, he moves back so Bitty can get the full picture, which is exactly what Bitty wants. 

 

“Yes. So good for me, baby. Are you enjoying the show?”

 

“ _ Ouais _ ,” Jack gasps. 

 

Bitty drags his eyes away from the screen to get back to the task at hand. He moans around his own cock as he takes it back into his mouth and shivers at the sensation. He closes his eyes and concentrates on his movements, on the continuous soundtrack of Jack’s voice. 

 

He releases one leg to grab at something, patting at the duvet until he feels the bottle. He thinks it’s pretty impressive that he manages to get it open and squeeze a fair amount of the contents onto his fingers one-handed, all while continuing to suck his own dick. There will probably be a wet stain on his comforter, but by now he’s pretty good at getting those out. 

 

Fingers dripping with lube, he reaches his hand back, hooking it behind his knee again. 

 

“Bits, are you…” Jack trails off, because the answer is obvious. 

 

Bitty starts by lightly tracing his pucker, excess lube making ticklish trails down to his balls. He releases his cock to let out a breathy moan, which Jack mimics, as he works one finger into himself. He pumps it in and out a few times before adding a second. It’s difficult at this angle, nearly impossible to twist his hand the way he likes, but he perseveres. It’s worth it. He takes his cock into his mouth again and starts up a rhythm of sucking and finger-fucking himself. He can hear Jack’s panting breaths and occasional curses through the laptop speakers. 

 

He’s been concentrating so hard on making this work up until now that he hadn't gotten a chance to really feel it. Now he enjoys the press of fingers (though they’re not as thick as he’d prefer) and the wet warmth of his mouth. He can taste his pre-come, licks it from his glans with a messy swirl of tongue. 

 

“Bitty...oh my god, I want...I need…”

 

Bitty looks at the screen upside-down and slowly pulls off. He keeps his fingers moving in his ass. 

 

“What do you need, baby? Need to come?”

 

“Yeah, I...I wanna see…” 

 

Bitty smirks. “Should I swallow, or make a mess?”

 

Jack groans. Bitty watches him squeeze the base of his cock. 

 

“Well? Use your words, sweetheart.”

 

“Mess,” Jack finally manages. “Please.”

 

Bitty winks at him. Once more, he’s doing his best to bob his head and bring himself off. He keeps his eyes on Jack now. Jack’s pumping his hand fast and he must have gotten lube at some point because there are slick sounds coming from him as well as Bitty’s busy fingers. 

 

After that, it doesn’t take long. Bitty starts to moan loudly and try to press his fingers in deeper. He pulls off his dick with a slurp. His moans just get louder, his swollen pink lips hanging open. One hand works his cock fast, pre-come drooling out over it. 

 

“Oh...oh, Jack...ah…”

 

His dick pulses and his body shudders. He closes his eyes just in time to avoid getting blinded by a glob of semen. He feels it splatter, warm, across his face. Most of it lands on his lips and cheek. 

 

Bitty opens his eyes to look at Jack. Jack stares back, looking utterly stupefied. His hand moves fast and he looks so close to the edge. Bitty grins and licks some of the come off his lips. 

 

“Mmm…”

 

That’s all Jack needs. He groans and spills over his hand. 

 

“Bitty...fuck, Bits.”

 

They stare at each other, panting and come-covered. Bitty is the first to break the spell. His back simply can’t take it any more. He releases his legs and rolls onto his front. His expression is dazed.

 

“Oh god, Bittle, that was... _ merde… _ ”

 

Bitty grabs a tissue to wipe the rest of his ejaculate away. 

 

“Did you like your treat, honey?”

 

“Yes. Oh my god, that was...yes.”

 

“I’m glad. Maybe we could do it again sometime.”

 

“Maybe you could demonstrate in person.”

 

“I’d love to do that. You could fuck me after. Or maybe while I’m doing it. Not sure if that would work, but it’s worth a try.”

 

Jack gives a hazy, sated grin. 

 

Bitty shivers, so he grabs a blanket folded at the end of his bed and wraps it around himself. His back, neck, and shoulders are kind of sore, but the stretches he did earlier paid off. A good night’s sleep and some light stretching in the morning should have him sorted out. He smiles back at Jack, loose-limbed from orgasm.

 

“How’s your jaw after that?” Jack asks, not bothering to hide his grin. 

 

Bitty rubs his jaw. “Not too bad. I think I’m used to it by now.” He winks again.

 

They share a content silence for a few moments, but neither wants to change the subject, start a normal conversation. At the same time, they’re both satisfied and not up for more sexy talk. Finally, Bitty yawns, sighing at the end of it, and arches his back in a stretch. 

 

“I should go get cleaned up. I may have the Haus to myself, but nobody else needs to see my stained sheets if I try to wash them later.”

 

“Yeah. Or, uh…” Jack gestures to his cheek. Bitty touches the same spot on his own face to feel a drying glob of come. 

 

“Exactly.”

 

They share another silent moment before Bitty laughs. “Okay. Time to go. You go clean up too and we’ll text each other good night.”

 

“Okay. Love you, Bits. Thanks for tonight.”

 

“You’re welcome, baby. I love you.”

 

They manage to end the call without getting any more mushy. Bitty keeps his blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he gathers up his duvet. He heaps it in a pile to go wash his face (and wipe down the rest of him, because the lube is drying uncomfortably on his thighs). Once he’s washed and dressed in pajamas (boxers and a Falconers t-shirt), he brings the duvet to the basement to wash.

 

Feeling decidedly sleepy, Bitty returns to his room. He gets a fresh comforter on his bed and snuggles up underneath. He takes a selfie, his smiling face illuminated by the fairy lights over his head, and then turns them off. 

 

He sends the photo to Jack, accompanied by  _ Sweet dreams! <3 _

  
Bitty falls asleep still smiling. 


End file.
